I want to talk about something I wish more people understood—especially in early childhood education.
We set kids up to struggle when we expect them to do things they’re just not ready for.
You’ve seen it. A child crying during writing time. Another child being labeled “bad” because they can’t sit still. A teacher exhausted, wondering why the classroom feels out of control.
But here’s the truth: it’s not the kids who are broken. It’s the expectations.
There’s a way to fix that. It’s called developmentally appropriate practice, or DAP. And it’s not fancy. It just means meeting kids where they are—not where a textbook or checklist says they should be.
Let me tell you what that looks like.
When You Know What’s Typical, You Stop Panicking
I remember a teacher once asked why a two-year-old in her classroom wasn’t sharing yet.
She was worried the child was being selfish.
But toddlers don’t share. Not really. At that age, they do what we call parallel play—playing next to others, not with them.
She wasn’t a bad teacher. She just didn’t know that this behavior was actually normal.
Once she understood that, the tension dropped. She could stop trying to “correct” him and just guide gently. That’s DAP.
It’s Not About Lowering Standards
It’s about raising understanding.
A child isn’t behind because they can’t write their name at three. Writing takes fine motor strength, coordination, and a lot of brain development.
Some kids need more time. And you know what helps them more than pencils?
Playdough. Sand. Pouring water. Big blocks.
One child I worked with struggled every day during name-writing time. Tears, frustration, refusal. But he loved stacking cups. So we built towers, lined up cars, and practiced squeezing tweezers. A few months later, he picked up a crayon—and wrote the first letter of his name with pride.
That’s what DAP does. It meets kids at their level—and helps them grow from there.
You Don’t Have to Be a Miracle Worker
Sometimes, as teachers, we feel this pressure to fix every child.
But DAP says we don’t have to fix them—we have to see them.
What are their strengths? What excites them? What can they already do?
I knew a child who couldn’t focus during story time. Always wiggling, interrupting. Some labeled her as a problem. But during free play, she’d sit and build the most amazing structures out of magnetic tiles—focused, calm, thoughtful.
She wasn’t unfocused. She was just unengaged.
We started giving her building challenges, even tying them to stories. And suddenly, she was learning in her own way.
DAP gives you permission to do that. To trust that different doesn’t mean wrong.
DAP Gives Everyone Space to Breathe
When kids feel like they’re always behind, they shut down.
When teachers feel like they’re always failing, they burn out.
But when we shift our approach to what’s developmentally appropriate, everything changes.
Classrooms get calmer.
Kids feel more confident.
Teachers feel more capable.
And let’s be honest—joy returns.
So What Does This Mean for You?
If you’re a teacher, a parent, a coach—this is your reminder:
- Watch before reacting.
- Look for what the child can do.
- Say yes to play. It’s not a break from learning. It is learning.
- Adjust your environment before you try to adjust the child.
- Trust yourself. Trust the child.
You don’t need more pressure.
You need more perspective.
And when you teach with DAP, you stop expecting every child to fit the same mold—and you start helping them become exactly who they’re meant to be.
That’s the magic. That’s the mission.
That’s what we’re here for.
