Hello, lovely parent,
If you have ever found yourself awake at 2 a.m., phone in hand, typing 'is it normal that my toddler isn't…' — this one is for you. You are in very good company, and you are not worrying too much.
The 2 a.m. question
Last week, a mum whispered to me, 'Is my son behind?' She had been comparing him to every child at the playground and reading articles that all said something different. Every one of them left her feeling worse.
Here is what I told her, and what I want you to hear too: noticing is not worrying too much. Noticing is parenting. And noticing early — calmly, without panic — is one of the best gifts you can give your child.
You do not need a test or special equipment to notice well. You just need to know what to look for. So let's practise together, with a little check that feels like play.
Try this at home: the Point, Name, and Fetch check
Set aside about five minutes during normal play — on the floor, at snack time, or getting ready to go out. This is not a test and there is no score. You are simply noticing three things I look for around 18 months:
- Point — 'Look at that!' Your toddler points at a bird, a bus, or a favourite snack — not just to ask for it, but to show you and share the moment. Gentle next step: point at things yourself, name them with excitement, and follow where your child points. You are building the conversation.
- Name — new words trying to come out. New words are appearing, even if they are not perfectly clear — 'ba' for ball still counts as trying. Gentle next step: say the word back clearly and add one more: 'Ball! A big, red ball.' No drilling, no flashcards — just talking together.
- Fetch — 'Get your shoes'. Your toddler can follow a simple, everyday request that is part of your routine, like bringing shoes or putting a cup on the table. Gentle next step: keep requests short and familiar, and celebrate the attempt. Routines your child knows are the easiest place to practise.
A calm note before you worry: Children develop at different speeds, and one quiet week proves nothing either way. What matters is the pattern over time. If, over a few months, you are seeing very little pointing, very few new words, or your child seems not to understand simple everyday requests — or if your child loses skills they once had — please do not sit with that worry alone. Take it to your paediatrician. That is exactly what they are there for, and asking early is always the right move.
One small play habit for this week
You do not need extra time or new toys. During something you already do — bath time, breakfast, tidying up — try these three together:
- Narrate what you are doing as you do it: 'We're washing your toes — splash, splash!'
- Pause and wait. Give your child a few seconds to babble, point, or answer before you carry on. That pause is where their turn begins.
- Offer a choice — 'Banana or yoghurt?' 'Red socks or blue socks?' A choice invites a point, a sound, or a word — all of them count.
Five minutes of this a day does more than an hour of worried Googling. I promise.
The guide that puts it all in one place
This is exactly why I wrote the guide I wish I could hand every worried parent in my therapy room:
'Is My Toddler On Track?' — a developmental therapist's guide to milestones, red flags, and what to do next, for ages 1 to 3.
Inside, you will find:
- Milestone checklists for 12, 18, 24, and 36 months
- Red flags explained calmly — without scare tactics
- A clear guide to when to relax and when to act
- The exact words to say to your paediatrician if you are worried
- 15 simple play activities that build skills
- A one-page reference you can stick on the fridge
It is $19, and you can download it right now and read it tonight — no 2 a.m. Googling required.
Get the guide → https://parentvoice.gumroad.com/l/bfpgub
And if you know a parent who is doing the late-night comparing right now, forward this newsletter to them. It might be the kindest thing in their inbox this week.
With you in this,
Sakirat
Child development specialist • Parent Teacher Voice
Parentteachervoice.com
This newsletter is educational information from my work in early intervention. It is not a diagnosis and does not replace your child's paediatrician. If you are worried about your child, please speak to them — and trust that asking is a strength, not an overreaction.
